The One

If I hadn't come here, I wouldn't have met 'the one' who could change me. 

It's been a long time since I last felt this way. I thought my heart was becoming a stone. I thought I couldn't feel it anymore and that I could control my heart. But I was wrong. 

I think Inday is right. If the two eventually fell in love, despite the disparity of their ages and academic levels, this only lends substance to the truism that the heart has reasons for its own which reason does not know. Sometimes you just can't tell someone how you feel, not because you dont trust them, and not because they will think that you're weird but because you can never really find the right words to make them understand. It makes you frustrated. People take things 100 different ways, and that's why it's so hard. 

I can't even make myself understand why. 

It hurts when it's over. Especially when it's ended in a very complicated situation. 

I couldn't feel it then after I was hurt the first time. I was so scared to do it again. Time went by, I could control it. I couldn't almost feel anything - sadness or happiness. I only felt rage. I became so masochistic that I hurt, even cut myself. I could only find happiness, peace and pleasure by hurting myself. (I don't want to hurt anybody anyway). I hated myself. I've been doing it for about six years. 

"When I lost you because you didn't love me any more, nothing else would matter. Nothing ever. No power could heal the wound that you would leave in my life.”I used to believe this. It's so overwhelming, but love moves in mysterious ways they said. 

When I met 'the one', something happened. It's like 'the one' was Jean Grey or Professor X of "Xmen" or The Haitian of "Heroes". I forgot the pain. Now I'm inspired. I think I can do everything. I started loving myself. 

Thank you 'the one'..... 



This was originally posted in my other blog which i don't update anymore.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for loving yourself back again, Oyuan!
    We, your friends are happy to know that.
    May my God bless you always!
    Keep loving!:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. weeeh, di nga? heheh.. wow ha, sharing kaayo ka amahl..:) miss you..

    ReplyDelete